Pope’s technique to spread peace is to put everybody to sleep

Being conservative has the great advantage of never having the work of creating new ideas and thinking on a new discourse. In his Easter speeches, year after year, the Pope urges countries at war to make peace, in a repetitive clockwork style. Last year was Libya, this year is Syria and Mali, next year will be Israel and Iran, and so on. Reporters love this, as they may use the reports from the previous year, changing only the names, without even listening to the speech. Of course this practice reduces the impact of the Pope’s intervention to nothing, but it has the advantage of not distracting people with ideas, when they’re trying to contemplate the decor of St. Peter's Square and the clergymen’s beautiful outfits.

Fox News >

Easter Bunny arrested for stealing $ 1.600 on DVDs

The Passover began to celebrate the liberation of Jewish slaves from ancient Egypt, and then the resurrection of Christ, with his devotees decorating eggs, symbols of birth. Among the Protestants this holiday began to celebrate spring as well, and took the name of Easter, joining it a symbol of fertility: the hare. Nobody can explain how did the bunny replace the hare and took over the egg distribution business, but maybe we can figure it out now that the police arrested him in Ohio. If the egg is the Christian and the hare is the Protestant, we could suspect that the bunny is the Jew, but we fear that if we make jokes about Jews prime minister Netanyahu will be pissed off again.

UPI >

Gunter Grass wants to see nuclear striptease in the Middle East

German poet Gunter Grass feels the world in danger and wrote a poem that asks both Israel and Iran to drop their pants and let themselves be inspected by nuclear urologists. The Israeli Prime Minister Netanyahu didn’t like to see the two countries treated equally and pointed to the small swastika tattooed on Grass, which he showed to the world when he dropped his pants in 2006. We share the concerns of Grass, but we understand Netanyahu: When you lower your pants to show your arming, at the same time you’re exposing your back, which can be dangerous when you have a neighbor who has been taking Viagra for years  to screw you.

The Telegraph >