Pope’s technique to spread peace is to put everybody to sleep

Being conservative has the great advantage of never having the work of creating new ideas and thinking on a new discourse. In his Easter speeches, year after year, the Pope urges countries at war to make peace, in a repetitive clockwork style. Last year was Libya, this year is Syria and Mali, next year will be Israel and Iran, and so on. Reporters love this, as they may use the reports from the previous year, changing only the names, without even listening to the speech. Of course this practice reduces the impact of the Pope’s intervention to nothing, but it has the advantage of not distracting people with ideas, when they’re trying to contemplate the decor of St. Peter's Square and the clergymen’s beautiful outfits.

Fox News >

Dutch flying car – the tale of the fish that wished to be a bird

The Dutch have been quite engaged in learning how to fly. After the engineer who’s flown with his grandfather’s wings, now it appeared a car that turns into a helicopter – an extraordinary work, by the way. The manufacturer says it can fly over mountains or water and escape traffic jams, however, the Netherlands have no mountains, so is evidently the water that he’s thinking about. Fact is global warming is sinking the country and they want to get out of there as quickly as they can. But go where? – we might ask. It would be wiser that Dutch engineers were engaged to manufacture and sell family type submarines, for this will be their means of transportation in the future. Also because flying cars are becoming too trivial as a business branch.

The Telegraph >

Hungary needs a president who knows how to lie properly

The President of Hungary, Pal Schmitt resigned after being accused of academic plagiarism. Schmitt decided to resign from office to avoid public controversy about the case, proving he's a weak man and endangering his country. What would happen if all politicians who copied in school were to resign and were replaced by honest students? It would be a tragedy of catastrophic consequences; we all know how honest people are inhibited in the face of difficult decisions that a leader has to take. If it wasn’t for the fact that the country is deeply indebted, Hungary could even cease to exist in a short time, by following in this path.

Euronews >

Rich people have two weeks to escape from France

François Hollande, the Socialist candidate at the French presidential election on April 22, proposes that those who make 1 million Euros per year should pay 75% in taxes, a proposal that has great popular support. In fact, the world is full of havens for the rich, but lacks a haven for the poor, a place where they feel that there is justice and all are equally poor. As Winston Churchill said: “The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of blessings; the inherent virtue of socialism is the equal sharing of miseries.” The French will once more set an example to the world – at least those with no money to live elsewhere.

AP >

Princes William and Kate pursued by nudists

The Dukes of Cambridge, recently married, went to live in Wales, near the Newborough beach. A beautiful beach, frequented by nudists and for which they wish an official status. People in the area expect nudists, although having no pockets, will benefit the region's economy. But the local councillor is against the idea, not so much because of the nudists, but because of “people who go and watch them from the trees”, leaving without a workplace the paparazzi who come to spy on William and Kate. That peaceful and idyllic place is getting scarcely peaceful and hardly idyllic, but on the other hand, is getting much more interesting, is it not?

The Telegraph >

Strauss-Kahn accused of pimping – IMF speciallity

About a year ago, Dominique Strauss-Kahn was the powerful head of the International Monetary Fund and front runner at the French presidential election which takes place next month. Once already forgiven for having straussed an official of the IMF, he eventually stepped down from his post after been accused of kahning a hotel maid. Since then, every week in France some innocent girl appears saying she was straussed by the renowned economist. He already admitted that he kahned women at parties and is now also accused of pimping, something that is illegal, despite the IMF doing it to countries. One thing is certain: his political career is now completely strauss-kahned.

CNN >

Queen Elizabeth celebrates her diamond jubilee by invading a wedding

An helpless couple was surprised by the unexpected visit of Queen Elisabeth II during their wedding in Manchester town hall, that was being visited by the monarch during the celebrations of the 60th anniversary of her coronation. Just to be polite, they came at the door to shake the Queen’s glove, and then, as educated people, lied to reporters, saying they had found the episode amusing. After her grandson Harry was been fooling people in the Caribbean and Brazil, it’s confirmed the strangeness of the celebrations of this joyous occasion. They must really be tired of parties.

The Telegraph >

Illegal downloads will cost you more

Managers of Swedish site The Pirate Bay are thinking of installing servers aboard unmanned drones, flying over international waters. This way, they expect to avoid the laws protecting copyright, for which they have already been imprisoned. The pirates know that there are laws that others must abide, and don’t expect someone will have the audacity to shoot down the planes, that they will pay with so much sacrifice, with money earned with the sweat of others. If you – who like to download movies and software for a few pennies – think this is good news, disillusion yourself: who do you think will pay for those drones?

Sky News >

For those who don't know, Germany has a president and he’s called Joachim Gauck

Nobody knew that Germany had a president until Christian Wulff was caught up in a corruption scandal. This office is so discreet in this country, due to having few powers assigned to it, that Wulff thought no one would notice. But he had bad luck and was forced to resign, and Joachim Gauck is now the man who has the task of convincing people of his own existence. His references are so positive that we ourselves are not convinced that he really exists or whether he was invented.

The Guardian >

Man flies with his grandfather’s wings

The great historical moment mankind has always dreamed of finally happened: man can fly! A video spread on the Internet shows us a Dutch engineer frantically slapping his arms where he had attached a pair of huge wings – according to him built by the plans of his grandfather – and flying a few dozens of meters. But, beyond the necessity of having motorized aid for lifting and landing, the man was so exhausted after this short distance, that despite his great satisfaction at the end, we consider this great historic achievement as the most useless of all time.

The Telegraph >

Prince Harry cheats on kids to promote the UK

After dancing and drinking in the Bahamas, Belize and Jamaica, where he cheated on Usain Bolt to celebrate the 60 years jubilee of his grandmother, Queen Elizabeth II, Prince Harry arrived Brazil. Here, he played rugby and volleyball on the beach in Rio de Janeiro, cheating on children who were his opponents to promote the UK, in a year the Olympic Games will happen in London. It is more than certain that Brazilians, tired of their wonderful sun, the hot water of their beaches and the bright colors of their country, have been surrendered to the British major tourist attractions: the gray, the rain and the fog.

The Guardian >

Sarkozy's son throws tomato at policewoman

The Sarkozy family is making more headlines than it should over their street battles. After the father, Nicolas Sarkozy, had to escape to a bar to hide from an egg attack by a group of Basque protesters, now the son, Louis, aged 15, threw a tomato at a policewoman apparently only to have fun, forcing the French president to apologize to her. In the end, it may well be that the young Sarkozy just wanted more autonomy, like those angry Basques. What we emphasize is that the French spoil too much food to make their claims.

Sky >

Usain Bolt loses race to Prince Harry

While visiting the Caribbean, Prince Harry found the fastest man alive, the Jamaican athlete Usain Bolt, who is also the Olympic champion and world record holder for speed races. Harry had been drinking in Belize and in the Bahamas, but still managed to easily beat Bolt, who was very displeased with the astonishing defeat. The Jamaican accused the prince of cheating and asked for a rematch this year in London during the Olympics, but Harry cowardly said he would be busy – a very unsportive attitude. If this is how the British royalties plan to celebrate the 60 years jubilee of queen Elizabeth II, they will only make enemies throughout the world.

People >

Lukashenko says “it’s better to be a dictator than gay”

Guido Westewelle, the German foreign minister and openly gay, said Alexander Lukashenko is the last dictator of Europe, to which he replied: "It’s better to be dictator than gay." Being gay is normal in most countries, but we noticed that Lukashenko has openly assumed to be a dictator. The Western world is still full of prejudice about the dictators, and this forces them to hide in shame and pretending to be democrats, forging free elections and simulating freedom of speech. By pressing the Belarusian regime for offending human rights, the EU apparently hoped to restrain Lukashenko, but ended up by making him come out of the closet. What a sharp move!

BBC >

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Vladimir Putin wins presidential election in first round

The results are clear: with nearly 63% of the votes, Vladimir Putin was elected for a six years term as president of Russia, a position he held between 2000 and 2008. The winner of the election spoke emotionally in Moscow yesterday, ensuring that it was an honest and open election. His opponents, however, question this version, and show numerous irregularities. In the middle of this discussion, the essential question remains to be put: who is that man who pretends to be Putin?! We are deep suspicious, even more after seeing him crying yesterday, something the real Putin never did.

BBC >

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Sarkozy hides in bar to escape angry protesters

Nicolas Sarkozy was booed at Bayonne, by hundreds of Basque protesters calling for more autonomy, and hid himself in a bar when they started throwing eggs. The French president is campaigning by the country towards the presidential elections in April, of which polls put him behind the socialist candidate, François Hollande. We can’t understand how an experienced politician like Sarkozy did not take this chance to get himself attacked and make this campaign more emotional, which is always favorable to whom is behind in the polls. The good side of the story is that Sarkozy could then quietly take a piss, which is not always easy in the midst of these campaign walks.

BBC >

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EU summit to ensure budgetary discipline

The European Union countries, except the UK and the Czech Republic, gather in Brussels for a two-day summit. The meeting will be used to sign a new treaty establishing rules of budgetary control and uniformity of taxation. A full week for European sports, with the summit after the football matches of national teams yesterday. After all, is not healthy to always be thinking about the future, especially when you have endless debts to pay.

Euronews >

Plot to kill Vladimir Putin foiled

Two men were detained in Ukraine and confessed they had a plan to assassinate Vladimir Putin. Just a few days before the election in which Putin should again be chosen as president of Russia, we may be suspicious that this story could be an invention to benefit the current prime minister at the polls. But if it seems strange that someone wanting to kill Putin appears just a few days before the election, on the other hand, it would seem equally strange that no one appeared wanting to kill him at this time. Strangely, they still call this news.

Euronews >

Protesters want the end of Putin’s era

Yesterday in Moscow, thousands of people manifested against Vladimir Putin, most likely the winner of the presidential election in Russia on March 4th. In contrast to this urban challengers, Putin has the major support of the working and rural populations. We see this paradox everywhere: those who work and have greater legitimacy to choose prefer reinforced authority, and are those who produce the least but also want to eat that develop the egalitarian and democratic ideas, which for the sake of coherence and consistency ultimately benefit the entire society.

CBS >